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Dear Ms. Price,
After saving my money for about five years, I finally purchased my first boat. I grew up boating on the Gulf of Mexico, so I’m proud to have one of my own.
When I ask friends to join me on the weekends, I am the only one paying for the upkeep. Do you think it’s tacky for me to ask that they pitch in for the basics, like gas? Boating is expensive and it would be a big help.
All Hands on Deck
First of all, congratulations on being financially able to buy and maintain your own boat. That’s a fine accomplishment and you should be proud.
When you ask people to visit you at your home, do you ask them to pitch in for the rent and electric bill? Of course not, and it’s the same for a boat. When one has visitors, if they volunteer to bring something, accept the gesture with gratitude. If they don’t offer, I wouldn’t think any less of them.
You could word your invitation in this way, “I’d love for you to join me on my boat this weekend. Would you mind bringing along some sandwiches (or salad, soda, beer, etc.)?”
Dear Ms. Price,
I am getting married next June, COVID permitting. I’ve been with my fiancé for five years and this should be the happiest time of my life.
I do not have a close family and am paying for the wedding on my own. I am finding that my fiancé’s in-laws are intrusive and calling all the shots, from the date, to the venue and even the invitations.
I’ve spoken to my fiancé, but he won’t stand up to them and refuses to say a word. He says they’re being helpful. It’s become a big argument and is ruining everything.
Two’s company, four is a crowd
I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that you have a fiancé that will not stand by your side and has dependency issues with his parents. If you think this will change over time, you are wrong. It will only get worse.
The good news is that you found out before it’s too late.
My suggestion is to see a counselor immediately and hash this out before you say your “I do’s.” Learn to live under their thumb and in a marriage where your opinion comes in third or fourth, or get out while you still can.